Summer Stories
A few weeks back I posted some “rough” writing ideas – wel they have taken shape since then and ere for your reading pleasure, a couple of summer stories, designed for kids and aduls and “kidults” – mum and dad, try these on your kids. I’d ove to know the reaction (good or bad.) Thanks and happy reading
WHEN WE WERE KIDS
It was the hottest day of the hottest ever summer.
It was the hottest ever summer since hot summers had been invented.
Temperatures soared into their hundreds, thousands, and even millions of degrees.
It was so hot that ice cream melted in the freezer.
It was so hot that cold drinks exploded to boiling point as soon as they were out the fridge.
It was so hot that people burned to a frazzle like steaks on a barbecue as soon as they set foot outdoors.
And all that people could do was sit and swelter, in their shuttered-up, darkened, sweaty houses, huddled round their cheap, «made in China» discount air conditioners, watching TV shows to pass the time.
And the kids were bored watching all the repeated repeats of old TV shows, whilst their parents guffawed at sad sitcoms that weren’t funny anymore, or sat on the edge of their seats, gripped by soap operas, so ancient that they looked like they had been made before soap had been invented.
«Ah, TV was better back then,» sighed mum, wearing a glazed, nostalgic smile.
«Ah, we had real summers back then» said dad, «Proper long, hot summers, when we would go to the seaside.»
And the kids wondered why they weren’t at the seaside.
«It’s far too hot to go anywhere,» said the parents, who really didn’t want to go anywhere, because they were quite happy just lolling around, watching TV all day. And as they watched TV, they reminisced on «just how good it used to be when we were kids.»
And it as always like that with parents, because when mum and dad were kids, everything was better, easier, cheaper, simpler, bigger, happier and hotter than nowadays.
«Oh no summers were far hotter back then» said the parents, but the kids knew that they were lying, because the weatherman had said that this was the hottest ever summer since hot summers had been invented
And as the long, hot, endless sweaty days, melted into one timeless sweltering limbo, the parents began to moan about the hot weather, complaining that it was just too hot and the garden was dry and «It would be nice to see some rain.»
Then, one day, the weather broke.
The sun disappeared.
The sky turned ominous heavy grey.
The clouds burst.
The deluge was here.
In no time the parents were moaning about the rain. It had rained all year. It had been nice to see some sun. Oh dear, summer had been washed away like it had never happened.
«It never rained in summer when we were kids» said mum and dad.
ROCKET TO THE SUN
It was the hottest summer ever and the planet was burning, Fires raged everywhere, and try as they might to put them out all the firemen in all the world just could not manage because there was no more water anywhere, not a single drop. All the rivers had run dry right down in dusty, cracked beds and all the seas and oceans had evaporated.
The chief of all the firemen of all the world went to see the President of the World.
«There’s nothing we can do Mr President» he lamented. «There is no more water left anywhere sir.»
The President of the World thought long and hard, and then had a bright idea, perhaps even brighter than the sun itself.
«We must send a rocket into the sun to switch it off.» he announced
«Switch off the sun!»
The President’s experts and advisers were all a little surprised, but no one else semed to have a better idea, so they all agreed that a rocket should be sent to the sun to switch it off.
As luck would have it, there were plenty of spare rockets around, so the President of the World ordered his rocket builders to choose the biggest and best and most powerful rocket they could find.
«We need someone to fly the rocket sir» said the President’s space expert.
Immediately, the President of the World sent for all his astronauts.
Once assembled, the President announced his bright idea,
«The sun is so hot, that we have decided to send a rocket to the sun and switch it off … We just need one of you to fly it.»
There was a moment of incredulous silence before all the astronauts broke out in one great big enormous, loud astronaut laugh.
The president thumped his hand on his desk
«Gentlemen!» he thundered, «This is serious.»
When the astronauts had finally calmed down, the oldest, most experienced astronaut stepped forward.
«Mr President» he started. «None of us will fly a rocket into the sun. We will just melt. Besides, if you really want to turn off the sun, do you know where the switch is?»
The President thought a long and hard thought and thought that no one had thought of this yet.
He assembled all his specialists, engineers, experts and scientists.
«Gentlemen,» he announced. «We need to switch off the sun, but we don’t know where the switch is, before we can send our rocket, we must find the switch.»
At this, all the specialists, engineers, experts and scientists scurried off to their laboratories and workshops to find a way to find the switch on the sun.
Meanwhile there was still the question of who would fly the rocket.
«If we can’t send a man to the sun, we’ll send a robot,» thought the President, and immediately sent for his robot expert.
«We only have one robot left Mr President» the robot expert announced.
«Just one robot!» said the incredulous President.
«Just one robot Sir» confirmed the expert, «All the rest were recycled into air conditioning units because our discount «made in China» machines all burned out.
«Send for the robot» ordered the President, and presently the last robot in the world arrived, wheezing, whirring, churning and clunking his way slowly and feebly into the President’s office.
«You’re not a very good robot» concluded the president as he cast a quick glance at the machine.
«I’m the only robot you’ve got,» droned the robot in a slow, sad, monotonous, mechanical drawl.
«So be it!» proclaimed the President, «You will fly our rocket to the sun.»
The robot wasn’t very keen on his new «mission», for though he was only a robot, he too had feelings and he was alo sad because he was the last robot on Earth. Since the start of the hottest ever summer, he had seen all his robot friends carted off to be made into air conditioning units to keep humans cool as all their cheap air con units had broken down.
As a robot, he had no choice but to obey, because he was programmed to obey and though he tried as hard as he could to keep breaking down, the human robot engineers and experts kept reparing him, until he was actually in a better state than he had ever been since he had been new, back in the days before long hot summers, when robots were robots and not air conditioners.
The President of the World was very happy, he had his rocket and a robot to fly it, all that remained was to find the switch on the sun.
After days of long hard mathematics, problematics,machinations,calculations and head scratching, the specialists, engineers, experts, and scientists all returned to see the President.
«Gentlemen, have you found the switch?»
«No sir» said the specialists.
«No sir» said the engineers.
«No sir» said the experts.
«No sir» said the scientists.
Exasperated, the President flew into a rage.
«Call yourselves specialists, engineers, experts and scientisits and you can’t even find the switch on the sun …»
Just then, the presidential electrician, who was in the presidential office repairing the presidential air con unit, made a suggestion.
«If I may so bold Mr President» he ventured, «You’ll probably find the switch round the back.»
The specialists, engineers, experts and scientists all turned to stare a thunderous stare at the electrician.
«You’re not a specialist or an, engineer, or an expert or a scientist» scorned the chief specialist/engineer/expert/scientist/professer person.
«I may not be a specialist or an, engineer or an expert or a scientist» replied the electrician, «but I am an electrician» he announced with pride, sticking his thumbs in the braces of his dungarees, and straightening himself up to his full height, which wasn’t much because he was only five foot tall. «As an electrician, I know all about switches, and switches are always around the back.»
«Round the back» scoffed the chief specialist/engineer/expert/scientist/professer person.
«Yes, round the back, and I shall prove it» said the electrician.
«Tell me,» he asked the chief specialist/engineer/expert/scientist/professer person. «Where is the switch on your computer?»
«Round the back.» replied the chief specialist/engineer/expert/scientist/professer person.
«Where is the switch on your printer?»
«Round the back.» replied the chief specialist/engineer/expert/scientist/professer person.
«Where is the switch on your coffee maker?»
«Round the back.» replied the chief specialist/engineer/expert/scientist/professer person.
«I rest my case» announced the electrician, beaming with pride at this small victory of experience over grey matter.
The chief specialist/engineer/expert/scientist/professer person. had to admit that there was a pretty good chance that, if indeed the sun had a switch, it was probably at the back.
«Now we know where the switch might be, it is time to carry out the mission» cried the president gleefully. «It’s time to save the world.»
And with that, the President of the World sent for his personal hairdresser to comb his floppy blonde hair, then he went on TV to tell everyone how he was going t save the world.
The robot was given his official orders:
– Fly the rocket round the back of the sun
– Flick the switch to turn off the sun
– Fly home (If you can)
So, with the rocket fuelled, and the robot at the commands, countdown started.
«fi’fo’tree»two’wun Blast Off» – shouted the countdown man, and with that the rocket shot into the sky and the future of the whole planet was in the metallic hands of an unwilling robot who wasn’t even sure of the way to the sun.
And the people across the world sweltering in their shuttered-up, darkened, sweaty houses, huddled round their cheap, «made in China» discount air conditioners, watched the take off on TV
«It’s just like when we were kids and we watched to rockets blasting off to the Moon» said mum
«Yeah» sighed dad, getting all nostaligic «but it was better back then.»
RAIN (Reprise)
And as the long, hot, endless sweaty days, melted into one timeless sweltering limbo, the parents began to moan about the hot weather, complaining that it was just too hot and the garden was dry and «It would be nice to see some rain.»
Then, one day, the weather broke.
The sun disappeared.
The sky turned ominous heavy grey.
The clouds burst.
The deluge was here.
In no time the parents were moaning about the rain. It had rained all year. It had been nice to see some sun. Oh dear, summer had been washed away like it had never happened.
Chez Nick 