A selection of writings from 2007 to 2010, explaining how my daughter found God (and then lost him again)

This section includes…

• Pushy mums,
• Trainee serial killers,
• Heinrich Himmler look-a-likes,
• Hairdressing tips
• Homebaking

If you want your kids to get « religious education »  in France you send them along to the local church for catechism classes, where dumpy ladies with blue rinses, rosy cheeks and home knitted chunky « christian » cardigans, will instruct your offspring in the ways of our Good Lord.

My offspring did it for three years. Little did I know that, what I first thought would be Bible stories and a spot of colouring was going to turn into a full-blown theology degree course.

 

List of Characters

Blue Rinse Bible Lady (AKA Mrs Hobnob)

Overweight and bubbly sixty something lady who “leads” the Bible class. Exceedingly bouncy with a faith cast in stone and written on tablets. She should be sting Hobnob biscuits and drinking cups of tea. Innocent looking but insidious and guardian of the faith.

The Titless wonder (or no fun lady with no tits or Blonde and Titless))

Blonde, anorexic and childless sidekick to Mrs Hobnob who plays then “Thought Police”  come confession time. Phramacist by profession.

Father B

Hard thinking, humanist parish priest, beleaguered and over-protected by the aforementioned ladies.

Serial Killer Kid and Heinrich Himmler look-a-like.

Two dysfunctional kids with shiny blue eyes and close cropped blonde hair who both love God.

The Offspring

My Daughter

The Better Half

My partner