Hotels, are those  commercial establishments providing  board and lodging, for their paying guests. To qualify as a hotel, an establishment must have a minimum of six letting bedrooms, at least three of which must have attached (en suite) private bathroom facilities.

I have not actually stayed in a British hotel since 1974. I daresay they have changed somewhat.

Before my mum opted for camping in France in the summer of 1974, our spring and summer getaways were always in hotels.

Hotel holidays. Never relaxing affairs for us kids

You had to dress up to stay in a hotel, or at least you thought you had to, because hotels were supposed to be posh. At least they were filled with people like mum, who thought themselves posh.

Children – if the hotel accepted them – had at least, to be seen and not heard, but if they could also remain unseen, it was even better.I remember some hotels we stayed in were actually better disposed to animals than children.

What you should never do in hotels when you are a kid

Never upset regular or long-staying residential guests. i.e. don’t run round making noise.

Don’t set foot in the bar.

NEVER EVER change channels in the TV room, even if one of the aforementioned species of guest, has long since dozed off in front of a boring wildlife documentary, that is preventing you from watching a good film on another channel. One flick of the switch will rouse the old dinosaur and incur his Jurassic wrath, normally with the words; “How dare you! I was watching that you little XXXXXXX.” (The severity of the reproach and the expletive used depend entirely on just how much alcohol the dinosaur has imbibed at lunchtime.)

Never complain, although there was often a lot to complain about.

Taking all the above into consideration, it is a wonder why mum ever bothered with hotel holidays. We could have gone self-catering, although in the early 70’s you would talk of “renting a country cottage”.