A cautionary tale about problem solving

Once upon a long hot summer’s day in a long hot summer, there was a short hot man who lived with his long hot dog in a very hot house not so far from the big blue sea.

The short hot man was called Robert but his friends called him Bob, because all Roberts are called Bob by their mates though no one quite knows why. Bob’s long hot dog was a sausage dog named Fritz.

On this long hot day, hot Bob abd Fritz decided to go for a walk along the beach, because as you now know, they lived in a house not far from the big blue sea and on the day in question the tide was out and the big bkue sea was now a long, endless beach.

Fritz and Bob both put on their sun hats and Fritz put Bob on his leash and they both left the house. Frtz enjoyed taking Bob for walks. A long tile before, Bob used to take Fritz for walks, but he never went any of those places that ogs might find fun or interesting, so one day Fritz had suggested that he choose the walks.

Off they went, along the beach. When Fritz got a to bit of the beach where theyweren’t too many people, he let Bob off his leash to run around and – Oh dear, silly old Bob got stuck in some wet claggy soggy sand.

« Help ! » whimpered Bob, because he was a whimpering type

« Help me Fritz ! » he whimpered a little louder.

Now, luckily dogs have good hearing, and even a long way off, Frtz could hear Bob whimpering for help. He trotted along the beach as fast as his

Litte sausage dog legs would trot him.

« Oh silly Bob » he barked when he saw Bob slowly sinking in the sand. « I can’trescu you all on my own, I’ll have to get help, » and offhe trotted into town to get help from the sort of people that help other people who are stuck in boggy claggy thick wet smelly sand.

First Fritz ran into a café and barked for help, but no one understood him, because no humans could speak dog langauge – only Bob could understand Fritz, because in a prevuois existance he too had been a dog.

Finally, Fritz ran into the town hall where the big fat Mayor was having a big fat party to celebrate being big and fat.

Fritz barked at the mayor and his big fat guests.

The Mayor stared down at Fritz

« Hmm, a sausage dog, » he cried. « I love sausages. Let’s have some sausages, »

It would been too long to explain how the Mayor finally understood that Fritz had something important to say, but like in all those quaint and charming films about courageous dogs who save their owners, Fritz managed to get the big fat Mayor and all his big fat guests running, puffing, wheezing and shuffling their way along the seafront to the bit of beach whre Bob was stuck and still sinking into the sand.

« We must save this man ! » exclaimed the Mayor

« What can we do ? » asked they Mayor’s big fat guests, and town councillors and clerks and pen pushers and busybodies and nobodies who had come along because they always follow the Mayor everywhere.

« Let’s have a meeting ; » cried the Mayor

« Let’s appoint a recsue committee » shouted the town clerks.

« Let’s have a sub committee and a working group, » shouted the busybodies

And wth that, they all traipsed up to the loacl café on the sae front and set about appointing committees to ome up with a rescue plan

A few hours and many cups of tea later, représentatives of all the committees gathered on the seafront, all the while Bob was slowly sinking and the tide was starting to roll in.

I suggest we send some strong men on the beach with a big rope and pull the man out, » announced the chairman of the rescue committee

« That will be dangerous » countered the speccy lady from the health and safety committee. « What if the big strong men get stuck too ? »

« Besides » added the little bald man from the finance committee « we don’t have any rope or any money to buy any. »

« We can send him out a boat, » suggested the Mayor.

« On no your Worship, » chuckled the lady from the transport committee. « We can’t send a boat, it wouldn’t float, the tide is not in yet. You need water to float a boat. »

All the while poor Bob was sinking

« Let’s send him a clown » suggested the Chairman of the Cultural Affairs Committee.

« A CLOWN ! A CLOWN ! »

Everyone roared with laughter.

« Yes a clown ! » retorted the Cultural Affairs man. « The clown can cheer him up with tricks and jokes while we go back in the café for more meetings and more cups of tea,»

« Well I must admit » chuckled the Mayor whilst still chuckling after roaring with laughter. « You idea gave us all a good laugh. Let’s do that while we all drink more tea. »

The Mayor tasked the Chairman of the Cultural Affairs committee to find a clown. The Chairman delegated to work to a sub committee who delegated it to a working group who were tasked to carry out a feasbilty study whilst the small bald finance man considered the budget.

« Where do we actually find a clown ?» asked all the members of all the committees and working groups after many hours of meeting and cups of tea. »

« In a circus » answered a small boy, who for the puposes of this story just happened to be in the right place at the right time to talk some common sensé.

The Chairman of the Cultural Affairs committee tasked his deputy to go to the circus to get a clown and to bring him to the beach and to get him to Bob on the beach, th cheer him up whilst everyone came up with a new rescue plan.

All the while poor Bob was still sinking, the tide was rolling in and Fritz was barking mad.

« That dog’s barking mad ! » thundered the Mayor who asked someone to call in the local sausage dog catcher.

« Make a hot dog out of this sausage » said the Mayor to the dog catcher when he finally arrived.

Finally the clown arrived. with his big red nose and big flat footed floppy shoes and a silly hat..

« Are you the clown ? » asked the mayor

« Yes » droned the clown

« I want you to go out there and cheer up that man who is sinking in the sand. »

The clown turned to face the beach. He scanned the horizon.

« I can’t see no beach. » said the clown. « Where’s the beach ? »

« It’s out there under the sea, » snapped the Mayor , now just irritated and sick of the whole affair.

« So, your Worship » said the clown « You want me to go out on the beach that is under the sea and cher up a man who is sink in the sand on the beach under the sea. »

« YES » snapped the Mayor again. « Do you have a problem with that ? »

THE END