They’ve bought one of those complicated coffee machines at my work.

I’m still on my instant coffee. A spoonful of freeze dried in my mug, pour on the boiling water and, you’ve got a cup of coffee.

George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Starbucks – and big frothy coffee with silly names, from expensive gleaming chromed machines. We used to get male orgasmic about motorbikes and now it’s coffee machines .

Everyone drinking stupendous, frothy fresh whipped cream Rococo creations or no nonsense, flat, downtown drinks. Either way , they are made with hand-picked, organically grown mountain beans, preferably from an ethical, peasant-run, sustainable coffee plantation, high in the Andes.

And your coffee made with the finest fresh filtered spring water, on a machine that requires an engineering degree to understand how it works.

And now your machine has broken down, or your coffee has run out, you pop around my place for a mug of instant coffee. Coffee how it used to be.offee