Bored Sunday afternoon, channel-hopping. Nothing to do and no wish to do anything. Disinterested zapping, all the world is just a finger away. Get on to an evangelical channel. An oversize, bearded guy with a kind of Paul Robeson voice tells that I’m important and that I have a unique purpose here on the planet, he’s going to tell me how to fulfil my destiny, but that’s after the commercial break, and I really can’t be bothered to wait that long.
What could I be doing more worthwhile than zapping round shit on my TV?
- Sweep up the leaves in my garden, though I can’t see the point. A good strong gust of wind will blow them all away at some point
- Take the new microwave oven out of the trunk of my car where it has been sitting for a week since I bought it. This is one of these “must do” jobs. Guess I’ll get round to it later. Seems a bit dumb, driving to work everyday with a new microwave oven in my trunk, whilst the od broken one, is still sitting in its bow in the kitchen, ready to take to the recycling.
- Could be drawing, but I can’t really draw, and when I do, I do contorted, abstract faces. The whole world draws like Basquiat, and I draw all the time since my psychologist told me to draw how I feel. (results below)
Guess I’m still feeling kind of screwed up. I’ve got a lot of unresolved crap in my head, even a year and half after my heart attack. Spent ten days in an artificial coma after my hear attack, cardiologist says it was t rest my heart.
I’m just wondering if I emerged into the same world as I left. Everything seems strange and superfluous. I’m not functioning the same as before. I went to talk to a psychotherapist and she just told me to do stuff that makes me happy, so I did all the stuff that made me happy before and it wasn’t the same. So, I’m trying to find what makes me happy. I’ll try a happy drawing
Chez Nick 