Fulfill Your Destiny (after the comercials)

Bored Sunday afternoon, channel-hopping. Nothing to do and no wish to do anything. Disinterested zapping, all the world is just a finger away. Get on to an evangelical channel. An oversize, bearded guy with a kind of Paul Robeson voice tells that I’m important and that I have a unique purpose here on the planet, he’s going to tell me how to fulfil my destiny, but that’s after the commercial break, and I really can’t be bothered to wait that long.

What could I be doing more worthwhile than zapping round shit on my TV?

  1. Sweep up the leaves in my garden, though I can’t see the point. A good strong gust of wind will blow them all away at some point
  2. Take the new microwave oven out of the trunk of my car where it has been sitting for a week since I bought it. This is one of these “must do” jobs. Guess I’ll get round to it later. Seems a bit dumb, driving to work everyday with a new microwave oven in my trunk, whilst the od broken one, is still sitting in its bow in the kitchen, ready to take to the recycling.
  3. Could be drawing, but I can’t really draw, and when I do, I do contorted, abstract faces. The whole world draws like Basquiat, and I draw all the time since my psychologist told me to draw how I feel. (results below)

Guess I’m still feeling kind of screwed up. I’ve got a lot of unresolved crap in my head, even a year and half after my heart attack. Spent ten days in an artificial coma after my hear attack, cardiologist says it was t rest my heart.

I’m just wondering if I emerged into the same world as I left. Everything seems strange and superfluous. I’m not functioning the same as before. I went to talk to a psychotherapist and she just told me to do stuff that makes me happy, so I did all the stuff that made me happy before and it wasn’t the same. So, I’m trying to find what makes me happy. I’ll try a happy drawing