The world is unlocking. Here is a silly story to mark the official end to cataclysmic events


It was in a magnificent million trumpet fanfare with pumped up pomp and circumstance,  that the Queen of Britain, wielding her silver scissors, cut the  thick pink ribbon and declared that the World was officially open once more. The crowd roared their approval and then one by one, filed past serious-looking men and women in white coats who asked them if they were happy. 

The World had been closed for so long that many people thought it would never open ever again, and that we would all have to stay at home sat sitting on our sofas for ever and ever. 

Happy or unhappy, there would be no ending

The President of the World phoned the Queen of Britain.

“We can’t not have an ending your Majestic one” said the President

“Indeed” agreed the Queen.

“We’ve got to have an ending to this story, so we can start a new story” continued the President

“Indeed” agreed her Majestic Majesty

The Queen wanted an end to the story because she wanted tea and cakes. Good stories always finished with a slap-up feast, with mountains of cake and lashings of lukewarm tea .

The Queen complained to the President of the World that she hadn’t had tea and cake for ever so long, because the story was not over

“Oh dear, I’m so sorry to hear that your Majestic Magnificence,” 

The Queen was unhappy. 

The President was unhappy

Everyone in the entire world was unhappy.

People just wanted a happy ending and they wanted the world to open again so they could all go shopping

The President of the World had a brainwave. He would go on television and simply tell everyone that they were going to live happily ever after, and that was exactly what he did, and everyone believed him. 

The Queen of Britain was so happy. She asked her Butler to bring her an enormous pot of lukewarm weak tea and a plate of cakes. She ordered all her marching bands to tune their trumpets and polish their brass buttons and brush their big hairy furry fuzzy hats.

“We’re going to have a happy ending.” announced her Majesty

“We can start a new story,” she declared

And after many Royal decrees and trumpet fanfares and ribbon cutting, everyone lived happily ever after and the Queen had tea and cakes everyday. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened.