Oh for a good laugh

I wanted to write something funny – funny as in HA HA and not funny as in « peculiar ». It’s all in the way we use the word « funny. »

« He or she is funny » meaning that this particular person makes me laugh with their jokes or antics

« He’s a bit funny » with the main stress on the « bit » a slight hesitation before the word « funny » and then the main stress on the first syllable of « FUN-ny » obviously meaning that the person in question is not funny at all but « peculiar » – perhaps a person displaying strange behavioural tendencies that might make him or her a good candidate for a future serial killer. At best peculiar or at worst psychopath there are plenty of people out there who are « a bit funny ».

Now, I wanted to write something funny, because there isn’t much to laugh about at the moment and it is also bloody ages since I have had a laugh – I mean a good laugh – not a smirk or a raised smile or a giggle, but a good, warm, deep down raucous spontaneous belly laugh – a laugh like good old Scrooge when he has been visited by the ghosts of Christmas, when he awakes as a changed man on Christmas morning and laughs a laugh so hearty that Dickens likens it to the « father » of all laughs, as round and as appealing an as joyous as the very toll of Christmas bells. So, I have written enough about Christmas and as things stand you have about 250 shopping days left until this Christmas – with a bit of luck you have already bought all your Christmas 2015 presents in the January sales. All you have to do now is find a place safe and secure enough to hide them for the next 11 months.

Nothing to laugh about? I suppose I could laugh at all those doing their 2015 Christmas gift shopping in the 2015 January sales, but this is common sense and in my experience, common sense people never laugh – it is far too frivolous an action and besides, what is the point?

Oh for a good belly laugh!

There are those days that I force myself to laugh because it is medically proven that if you want to live longer you must laugh a genuine laugh at least once everyday. Is this last fact is possibly concocted by longevious medical types who never laugh, but force themselves to laugh because of prolongs life. These are the kind of people who take vitamin pills filled with all the nutritional benefits of a glass of wine, but who will never actually drink a glass of wine for fear it might kill them (or at least shorten their life) – Mind you, when I see all those people who live long and healthy lives, they are all so bloody miserable, doing (or not doing) all the stuff that prolongs life. I suppose though that they are happy being miserable

Cars and misery

Driving home this evening with my daughter – our evening commute, if you can talk of commuting in a small town. Offspring asks why I stare so much at other drivers. Quite simple – I like to see if people look like their cars. They say that dog-owners look like their canine companions, so why wouldn’t people look like their cars? Or to put it another way – do people buy cars that look like them? Do people with square spectacles drive cars with square headlights? Do very serious unsmiling types have cars with equally serious radiator grilles?

From years of observing my fellow drivers, I have noticed that it is those with the most expensive cars that look the most miserable and those who drive around in a beat heap of jurrasic autmotive crap, appear to be the happiest.

Second observation

It is the fattest people who have the smallest cars and the thinnest people who have the biggest cars. Next to me in this evening’s cross town traffic jam – a stick like, bespectacled lady with a face like a wet weekend driving a very large oriental SUV. Further up at the traffic lights – a jolly rather rotund lady in a rather dented two door miniscule hatchback of French origin

Theory

All the thin care-worn and miserable types that drive massive automobiles are thin because now they are paying off their car, they can’t actually afford to eat OR, they are now living a no frills healthy lifestyle, to keep themselves alive long enough to actually enjoy their latest automotive acquisition. If they look miserable it is because they are making huge sacrifices to afford their car. They are obviously denying themselves access to life’s small pleasures in order to meet massive car payments. They have a new car, but now the “newness” has worn off, they quite simply have a car that has become a burden. Add to this the stress of trying to keep the car in pristine condition. Parking it somewhere safe against car thieves. Driving carefully to avoid accidents, washing the new car every five minutes when someone so much as breathes on it.

As for the fat people in small beat up cars. They don’t have a care in the world. They don’t have new car worries and responsibilities and they can enjoy all those small pleasures that bring happiness because they aren’t paying off their car – yep, they’re all fat because they can eat well because they can spend actually spend money on food instead of their car

Just a personal theory.