And what have we all been a talking about at work today? YES – the presidential prolongation and where it has been dipped of late.

So, a poll in this morning’s Figaro newspaper: Was the magazine “Closer” right to publish the photos that exposed Mr Hollande’s extra-relational wanderings?

A thundering 80% approval, for the actions of the cheap gossip magazine. Ah yes folks, you have to see “Closer” – a cheap and popular scandal sheet – for one Euro- less than the price of a cup of coffee , you can the latest low down on the sexual antics of minor French TV stars and page after page of adverts for boob jobs, miracle beauty creams and clairvoyants – BUT WHAT MORE CAN A MODERN GIRL ASK FOR than bigger breasts, silky skin and a bright future. Giant jugs and a good complexion will get you everywhere nowadays.

Now you can’t accuse Julie Gayet (President Hollande’s new bird) of having large assets, she is perfectly proportioned and very pretty, as opposed to angry old Valerie Trierweiler who has trouble keeping her bodily generosity within reasonable limits. But here I am harking on about Ms T as if she’s some fat old frump and HEY, she’s younger than me.  Anyway as we stand, Ms Trierweiler has been in hospital since Friday suffering from nervous exhaustion. According to this evening’s medical bulletin she is “undergoing tests” and all set to spend the “foreseeable future” in hospital.  Oh how I pray that I were the suffering party in the affair- I could get weeks off work for being slightly “stressed” – besides Ms Trierweiler must have known that François was having a fling When you read those websites that are concerned with this sort of thing, Mr Hollande has been exercising his state control on Ms Gayet for the past 4 years – Ah yes! Ms Trierweiler knew full well that she was being two-timed.  However, even if she knew that life was not quite as she wanted it, she still took up residence in the Presidential palace and fully assumed the “First Lady” mantle at the expense of the tax payer.

So tomorrow (as I write) or today (as you read), our sexually active leader is having a press conference at the Elysée palace – not to announce his sexual turnaround but to announce his economic turnaround. After two years of tired old Socialist economic policy, Mr Hollande is going to announce his conversion to a Tony Blair style, economic policies and this in front of 600 journalists from the national and international press. I know the questions that they will be pressing to ask, but this is serious stuff, because despite the resident’s sexual antics, he is still ruling a country that is well and truly in the doldrums. Ask any of my colleagues today – we’re all having a laugh about the Presidential penis but what we’re also worried about our wad.