You’ll go in Seine if this bites your balls off.

In search of inspirational and gems on French life for the blog. Just when you thought that the news was as gloomy as the weather, you suddenly find an entertaining story. A testical munching fish found in the Seine near Paris. Hardly a word in the French press, I culled this one from the Telegraph website. Well, it is often the case that you have to peruse UK press websites to finding amusing anecdotes about life in France. Likes the fisherman’s tale of « the one that got away, » the UK press often covers those more flippant stories that never seem to make it into the French press.

So, out testicle munching fishy friend was hauled out the Seine on 3rd September Measuring just over a foot long, the fish in question was confirmed by river police as being a Pacu – apparently a cousin of the piranha. More at home in the waters of the Amazon, in the areas where the fish is common « fishermen have reportedly bled to death after losing their testicles to the fish’s crushing jaws. » (Henry Samuel – in the Telegraph).


What a daunting thought, there you are quietly fishing on the banks of the Seine expecting to catch no more than a carp, when up swims a Pacu and bites your balls off. Presumably though, for the hungry Pacu to swim up and gnash off your knackers, you probably have to be standing starkers, at waist height in the water. Most anglers I see at local lakes and rivers are all attired in military surplus camouflage clothing, and when they do actually venture into the water, they wear rubber wading trousers that would protect anything of a testicular nature – I suppose the only possible danger would be if a fisherman accidently dropped a Pacu down into his waders.

Chances are that the Pacu made it into the Seine after a pet owner dumped it there, tired of watching the Pacu nibble its way through the rest of the fish in the tank. Mind you, why buy such a specimen in the first place. Who would want a ball-breaking fish as a pet?

The Seine River police regularly pull weird and wonderful things out of the Seine; dead dogs seem to be quite common. The strangest find of late (apart from the Pacu) was a headless; nine foot long Royal Python.