Celebrity Come Diving

It’s somewhere after nine on Friday night, and I’m in the kitchen, escaping from the TV.

Tonight’s televisual offering is the final of « Survivor ». «

« AH MY GAWD, YOU STILL HAVE THAT CRAP. »

Oh for sure. It is almost the tenth year of that « crap ».

“Survivor” is “easy” , reality TV
Take a few wannabe Rambos, who have failed the entry tests for the SAS or the US Navy Seals, add a couple of toughened-up bimbos, cast them adrift on a désert Island for three weeks, and you have « Survivor » – although the islands are never too isolated, and as the contestants starve and suffer, the entire profduction team is living just a few hundred yarads down the beach in a five star hôtel. SO, you’ve guessed it. I’m not a fan of Survivor, but there are several million viewers who are.

So, as this 10 week long dose of clap trap draws to its tawdry end, there is yet more rubbish to come.

Tomorrow night, marks the start of yet another talent show. « The Voice » – it’s second year on French TV. This show is pretty much the same concept as the X Factor – the only différence being that, the jury don’t actually have to watch the Wannabe who is singing, they merely listen to him or her and make their judgement on the « vocal qualities. » 4 to 5 weeks of castings and then the show dégénérâtes inti the format of all other TV talent shows. At this moment on mainstream French TV and the plethora of satellite or cable channels, there are no less than three other talent shows running.

During the festive season, we finished the second season of « Danse aver les stars » – Dancing with the Stars – the French homegrown version of « Celebrity Come Dancing. » Like the Brits we have also had the ice-skating version, and now, we have a show called « Splash » or I suppose we could also call it « Diving with the Stars. » – a diving champion (as in ‘diving into swimming pools off high diving boards and NOT scuba diving), teaches a « Star » to dive, and then they do the dive, and the whole point is not so much the dive itself, as seeing what the celebrity looks like in wet swimwear – is anyone going to watch this ??? Ah yes, crap-a-plenty coming up on French TV. Could be a good time to swap the Box for a good book.